3 Long Years I was practically married to a drunken woman she’d slink into the bathroom when she thought no one was looking snort all kindsa shit she’d take down lines and lines of it her tiny heart          beating so fast underneath her heavy breasts her face red I felt so bad for her took pity on her tried to swoop her up make things better for her held on for 3 long years held on through drunken fights lasting all through the night held on when things turned violent her drawling blood from my nose with tiny enraged fists balled up with so much anger I can see your knuckles, sweetheart they’re red and bruised I can see your knuckles held on through weddings, funerals, birthdays, anniversaries, drunken holidays, Christmas, New Years good times bad times held on held on through brother in-law’s heart transplant almost dying on hospital beds respirators feeding tubes held on through the birth of a nephew a tiny bundle wrapped up in a baby blue hospital blanket forced you to hold him forced you to love him but I never saw it in your eyes held on through graduations held on while choosing a career held on when there was no money held on when there was more then enough money moved from one crumby apartment to the next things got a little better each time held on till the good no longer out weighed the bad we really had all the fun we were going to have and I cried I cried when you asked me to share your bed I cried the first time I moved in you I cried when we shared our first Christmas together making love underneath our first Christmas tree I bought it from Goodwill for under ten bucks lights, bulbs and garland included our friends came over made fun of me but you never made fun of me I cried when you stopped needing me I cried that whole last month when you made me beg for sex like it was such a horrible thing you gave in   but there was no passion left in your face there used to be so much passion in your face I cried when I could no longer bring you to orgasm I cried when you ran out naked in the night leaving me with nothing to do but worry