"The things that make me tired are keeping me awake" sweating through my clothes is losing its appeal humid night hovers oppressive and endless I am suffocating and I am tired of people dreaming of fame without endeavour dreaming of becoming porn stars pop idols suicide bombers it girls of the joyriders screaming up and down up and around these blocks without crashing even once of the crushing impossibility of wake eat work eat drink sleep of thinking about my grandfather's body donated to medical science and where he is now and what is going to become of me of the dull angry speech of twelve-year-old apprentice hard men on evening street corners every other word a fuck every look a threat I am tired of trying to articulate the inexpressible transforming vague feeling to clear writing without dilution and I am tired of drinking               tonight I am tired of nearly everything I am about to lay down my pen because now I have become a little tired even of myself.