Rumination

First thing,
I put your letters
Beneath my floor.

I sat above them in the lotus position.
I tried to replace your space
With nothingness
Sat in silence,
My brain ticking back like a broken clock,
Saying here it is, here is your nothing
But it never it was.

I ruminated on you and nothingness

The broken door you'd wedged
Open in my mind
Broke loose with old disputes.

When i stopped for lunch
I couldn't move my legs.